When we feel hopeless (Guidance from a Tarot Card Reading)

 

A friend of mine was feeling down and asked me to read her tarot cards. She felt she just couldn’t get a break. After I did the reading, I thought, “This would be a good video for anyone going through the same thing.” So with her permission, this reading is for you:

Get out of your mind.
Sword energy in the tarot is analytical thinking, strategy and intelligence. There is a time and place for everything, including when this is beneficial and when it is not. Tapping into your emotional self and intuition can help you when you have problems that are not black and white. Ask your heart what your next step should be. Let your body intelligence give you advice by asking the question, and then see how you physically feel.

Sorrow
Deal with your past sorrow. We need to work though our loss, neglect, and abuse. I think of it as staring the devil in the eye, so not to feel intimidated, and allow things to come to the forefront. This release will lift up our energy.

Wants vs. Responsibilities
There are things that we want, and also things we need to do. Reconcile the two, and find the joy in your life. What makes you tick? Find the time, the space, and the guilt free attitude, and lean into happiness.

Positive people
Spend more time with people that have both the positive outlook and emotional maturity. It will bring out your own intuition. Take a look at the people around you who might be creating some negative energy. They could be putting bad stuff in your head. Even if you are not ready to release these relationships entirely, you can find balance by receiving energy from positive and loving people.

Karma
There’s karma in life. We come here to play out a story. Karma is real, but we can still navigate our story to find fulfillment (see my videos on manifestation for some ideas).

Don’t bang your head against the wall
Pay attention to the energy and the flow in your life and go with it. Don’t resist it, and stop banging your head on walls that don’t budge.

Take help that’s offered
When you’re feeling down, recognize help that’s offered to you and accept it. The next time someone needs you, you can return the favor.

Be still
Lastly, take time to work things out in your own quiet time. Figure out what time of day works best for you and schedule it, and then journal (see my video on journaling here). Tune in to what your body is telling you. Ask your spirit guides for help, and see what their answer is.

Live in your sovereignty
Strive and live in your sovereignty. What life gives you, you can manage. I hope these tips and the other videos I offer help you on your way.

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How NOT Sweeping Things Under the Rug Can Save a Relationship.

Happy Holidays? 

It’s time to be with people who we have tense relationships with, and relationships we might not be able to avoid. There could be unspoken anger and frustration, and we can’t find the words to express what we want to say.

So, what do many of us do? We lash out in frustration after repressing our anger for too long. It makes us feel like we've won the battle, but ultimately, we've lost the war. The feel good release leads to long term pain for the other person, which may not be able to be repaired. There are many ways to handle this, but most importantly, do not ask them to “just move on.” Instead, handle it with sensitivity and grace, and watch them open up to a true reconciliation. It takes trust that needs to be earned.

To demonstrate this, I'll share a story I heard many years ago that had a huge impact on me:
A young man had a problem with his temper. Every time someone would frustrate or disappoint him, or make him feel “less then,” he would lash out. He hurt many people, and many relationships were damaged beyond repair. He felt powerful because people were intimidated and he was rarely challenged.
An elder who saw this time and time again suggested to him, “For every time you want to say something to someone to hurt them, and every time you want to lash out at someone to cut them, I want you to take a nail and bang it into the fence across the street instead, in order to release your anger.” The young man saw a beautiful freshly painted fence across the street and agreed to do so.

Weeks later, the young man came back to the elder and said “I feel great. It was such a release to get rid of my negative feelings.” The elder said to him, “Great. Now I want you to take out all the nails from the fence.” After the young man agreed, the elder said “Now I want you to look at the fence.” The young man looked at the fence and saw that it was ruined beyond repair. Then the elder said, “That is what you do to relationships. Every time you feel the need to lash out and be aggressive, passive aggressive, or hostile to another person, the damage is significant and may not be able to be repaired.”

 
Healing is done best when it is a collaborative effort ❤️

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If you are the “Fixer,” WATCH THIS VIDEO

 

This video and blog speak to the potential pitfalls of being a fixer (as well as the person being “fixed”), and what we can do to protect ourselves.

With all of our good intentions, we can ultimately be resented for helping.
When someone opens up about their personal life and their current difficulties, they can feel VULNERABLE. As the person in need, we want the wisdom and objectivity from the people around us, but in these circumstances we are showing open wounds.

As the fixer, we need to show a lot of sensitivity. When we are offering our love and support, the current inequality and imbalance can result in the person receiving the help feeling “less then.” Treading lightly, and watching for cues on how to approach the other person, will help them not feel “smaller.”

Refuse to be used.
We love being needed, and we also love sharing our experiences in order to help others. But what about when we only hear from someone when they need something? That’s when we start feeling the resentment.

This is when we need to set boundaries. As a fixer, we are conditioned to give endlessly. This is when it is important to take care of ourselves, or we may become exhausted and overburdened. Making sure there is a healthy balance in the relationship is best for everyone. Make a commitment to yourself that you will not be used.

Resist the urge to micromanage.
When we have the answer and can see things clearly, we can jump right in. This is because we are objective and truly want to help. Difficult to resist the urge to fix quickly. Instead, we should be mindful that people need to learn their own lessons in their own time. Share your insights, but then allow space for the other person to figure things out on their own. Challenges are a huge part of growth, and we can’t always be running other people’s lives.

Accept resistance.
There are times when the other person simply does not want our help. And for true fixers, that can be devastating. We want to protect and not see them hurt themselves, but we need to allow them to live their lives. If there is resistance, understand their need for independence and autonomy, and move on. When they are ready, they will come to us and we will know the time is right to help them.

Wait to be asked.
We see things, we want to fix things because we want the world to be a happier place. This can feel intrusive to the other person. Support is a two way street, giving and receiving. Life is complex and we are here to help one another. But everyone has different ways of managing life, and it’s best to respect that - for them and for you. Give them the space they need, but we also need to protect ourselves.

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Astrology and Days of the Week. Mood, Actions and Colors to Wear to Be Best Aligned.

 

In astrology, different planets rule different days of the week. These same planets rule various astrological signs. The following is a breakdown of the mood, actions and colors to wear for the day in order to be best aligned.

Monday
Monday is named after, and represents, the moon. In astrology, the moon also governs Cancer. This makes Monday a perfect day to reflect, emotionally connect and be observant and mindful. Wear colors that are light and soft, such as white, silver, light grey, soft lavender, light blue, pale green. Wearing all cool, light colors gives off a really mellow, chill vibe - something the moon is known for. This also reflects some Cancerians, when they are in their zen place.


Tuesday
Tuesday corresponds to Mars (and Aries), the planet of action. This symbolizes taking action, being bold, and getting things done. Wearing red represents the fire that Mars and Aries hold. Red has lots of range - crimson, blood red, scarlet, burgundy, coral, maroon, candy apple red, garnet, rust, fire engine red, copper. For an interesting combination, try wine and a deep red and see how complimentary it looks.


Wednesday
Wednesday is governed by Mercury (Virgo and Gemini’s planet). Both signs use their mind, and are very strategic and resourceful. This is the day to develop strategy and really use your intellect. Blue, green and brown are the colors for Wednesday.


Thursday
Thursday corresponds to the planet Jupiter (the sign of Sagittarius). Sagittarius is spontaneous and likes adventure. This is the day to do something adventurous, so do or plan the experience you have been wanting to have. The color for the day is yellow, a color that stimulates us. It creates an energetic, “I want an adventure” mood. Wear it in all its forms, including mustard, lemon, amber, cream, gold, apricot and saffron.


Friday
Friday’s ruler is Venus, the planet of love, which governs both Taurus and Libra. Today is the day to connect with other people and tell them what they mean to you. It is also the day for romance. Wearing pink is nurturing while green is healing. Pink has its many shades, including fuchsia, rose, bubblegum and champagne. Green can be sea green, turquoise, forest, sage or army, to name a few. One of my favorite combinations is pink and green. Keeping things balanced, calm, and grounded (like our Libra and Taurean friends, who call Venus their planet), is the name of the game.


Saturday
Saturday corresponds to Saturn and Capricorn. This is the day of work, organization, productivity and deep contemplation, which matches Capricorns’ nature. The color for this day is black, dark blue, dark cherry, dark green, and dark brown. These colors are all serious and dense, but dependable, honest and earthy.


Sunday
Sunday represents the Sun, and the Sun rules Leo. Leos typically like to have fun and gets lots of attention. This is your day to be playful, get attention you have been shying away from, and let other people see your many talents. Sunday is our day to wear orange in all its forms, be it peach, coral, rust, salmon, tangerine, apricot, amber, saffron, pumpkin and dark orange. Orange can be flamboyant, so put it all out there and enjoy this day of fire and fun.

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Do It For You.

When you think of your life, the most important person in it is you.

This is not meant to be selfish. We make ourselves whole in order to be there for others in an  authentic way, without it being a negotiation.

As many of us know through experience, one of the biggest misconceptions is if we live our lives to please other people, we will get our needs met in return.

If we redirect, and focus on meeting our own needs, vision and happiness,
we can truly be there for other people, because we will feel whole.

Focusing on who we are is fundamental to live an authentic, spiritual life, as we then allow ourselves to grow and keep growing.

Healthy individuals contribute to the health of the whole.

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Organizing Our Thoughts to Make Better Decisions.

 

At times, we all get overwhelmed when we need to make decisions. Depending on the circumstances, the process can be difficult and daunting.

Breaking down our options, categorizing and prioritizing, making small changes, and not feeling that things are un-fixable are all ways to move forward. Trusting our intuition by tuning into our body intelligence will help us get real and keep us on our path.

Writing things down. 

It's amazing how putting things on paper gives us a clearer perspective and helps us step away from the chatter in our minds.

Making a Pros and Cons list. 

I find getting two lists together, side by side helps me get a better assessment of what is going on. Because not everything has the same weight, I rate each bullet from 1-5. This not only helps keep things in perspective, it also frees me up to write down even the most trivial things, knowing I will only rate it a 1 or a 2.

Journaling.

This is one of my favorite past times. When I audio journal into my phone and play it back to hear myself, it gives me objective insight. Writing down the worst case scenario helps because I realize most everything is fix-able. If it's not a risk I am completely comfortable with, I will take baby steps before I fully commit.

Tuning into your body intelligence. 

Sit quietly, with no distractions, and ask the question you want the answer to. Really tune into the body so it can give you the instinctive answer you are looking for.

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The Beauty Behind the Process of Elimination.

 

I was watching a video on instagram of a man talking about getting past some really difficult years. Now he’s on the other side, married, a new job, and happy, but it took a lot of work and re-navigation. He appreciates his happy life much more than he has in the past because of the difficulties he has overcome.

As we live in a world of polarity, we can’t understand what hot is unless we experience cold, or how if feels to be healthy, unless we have been ill.

Negative experiences show us what we need by our understanding of what we do not want, or need. This allows us to appreciate and hold the good things that we love close to our hearts.

If we are at a fork in the road and not sure what our next step should be, we can then risk trying something. Once we make the decision and move forward, we then have the experience to know what is right for us. Or if it is, “I don’t want to go through this again,” we can pivot and make a new plan.

The beauty of this process is that we are able to take some risks by having the opportunity to see what works for us and understanding what does not work. Our negative experiences magnify what is right in our journey, and through trial and error we discover what works best for us.

Is there a pattern? For me, after re-navigating my life in 2016, including where I was living, starting a new relationship, looking for work, and seeking friends, I realized the pattern for me was that if I am with the right people, I could do, and enjoy, almost anything.

Once you look back and see what has not worked for you, what would you like to experience as the polar opposite? And what would you like to avoid going forward?

What are the roads you would like to travel in your journey?

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Sitting with Discomfort and Not Lashing Out.

Recently, I saw someone I had met only a handful of times, and as soon as I greeted her with a friendly hello, I saw her immediately get uncomfortable. Within minutes, she gave me a backhanded insult that had nothing to do with her, or anything that was going on in that moment.

I don’t know that I will ever understand why.

The real issue is, why couldn’t she just sit with her discomfort? Something triggered her, and only she knows what that trigger was. The irony is that within her discomfort, she lashed out at someone she hardly knew.

The reality is that we are all uncomfortable with something or someone, at some point. Sometimes it makes complete sense to us, other times, not so much. The real question is, how do we manage our present discomfort to become centered, and not pass it on to others?

Here are 4 tips:

1. Breathe. Take a minute and get some oxygen, so you can relax and take stock of yourself.

2. Ask yourself what is going on, so you can get some answers that can help you manage how you are feeling.

3. Focus and determine if something about the situation is reminding you of something else that you have not resolved. Is it problems in a current or past relationship, a past trauma, or an insecurity within yourself?

4. And lastly, are you physically uncomfortable? Take a minute to either sit down, drink some water, eat something small, get some air, or go to the restroom. Sometimes by putting ourselves on pause, we can collect ourselves.

Feelings and triggers are always something we can recover from. By getting centered from how we are feeling (and taking responsibility) before making a comment or an “observation” that will hurt, insult or embarrass someone, it may save our dignity and someone else’s feelings. In these moments, we can pivot. But fractures in relationships take much longer, if ever, to glue back together. 

I hope this message resonates with you, and helps you on your path.

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What is Mind Mapping?

 

Mind Mapping is a process of imagining your desired goal as the “trunk of a tree” and then visualizing the branches as they grow outward from the trunk as the steps needed to make it a reality.

For instance, if you choose to focus on your health, you may want to use branches of the tree to represent the following: nutrition, mental health, physical exercise, and medical advice.

As in a tree, the branches grow out further, so what do we need to do to get on a nutrition plan that will give us optimal health? If it is defining your macros, making a meal plan, and learning how to prepare and cook meals, the next set of branches would be doing the calculation for macros, designing a plan to give you the nutrients you need to adhere to your plan, and looking up recipes or taking a cooking class.

Once you get to the minute details, you can take action. This process makes things more digestible and manageable.

Please watch the video for more!

I hope this helps you on your path, and please forward to anyone you think could benefit from this video.

 

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Boldly Embracing the Unknown.

 

My last two blogs focused on manifestation, both Albert Einstein’s theory, and also the organization of your life by categories in order to make it more manageable.

But what happens when we want to make change, yet we suddenly feel held back by our own insecurities and doubts?

This is our ego working. It thinks it is protecting us, making us safe.

That is the ego’s job. It likes to plant the seeds of doubt “What if this doesn’t work out? What if I make a fool of myself trying something new? How about if people stop loving me?” It keeps us where we are, and with what we know.

That's when we slam the brakes on, and and before we know it, we’re stuck in a rut.

Factor in outside voices of family, friends, not so friendly “friends” and the news, and we really freak out!

Rather than second guessing everything we do, we need to keep moving forward. When we realize and accept this is the job of the ego (and we stay away from negativity in the process), we can then forge ahead.  

This is the time for us to become bold and fearless.

Start a journal to find the pathway to your life. What moves you? What do you need to remove from your life? By setting aside time every day, even for just 15 minutes, we can then deal with our negative conditioning and fears.

Keep lists, clip out interesting photos, track what makes you feel excited and aligned, and also make note of what takes you off track. Find out more about yourself so you can manifest.

Start from the beginning of what Albert Einstein once said:

See it.
Understand why.
Believe it.
Feel all the emotions.

Then break it down into life categories if that helps you.

Give in to your soul without thinking of the unknown, and listen to the whisperings of your heart. 

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Organizing Your Life to Manifest.

 

This vlog is a continuation of my last vlog, “Albert Einstein and Manifestation,” which detailed the four principals to Manifesting Your Dream Life.

In this vlog, I’m adding organizing your vision into categories of your life, to make it manageable and doable. Looking at our lives as one clump can be overwhelming. By getting the granular details on paper for each category, (and breaking it down), we can see it, do it, and then go back and modify it as necessary.

I used the categories associated with the Feng Shui bagua, which include the following (feel free to change them to your liking):

Health: What are your foundations to reach optimal health and wellness?

Romance: What kind of relationship do you want and need, and what are your “must haves” in order to be happy and be the best partner you can be?

Creativity: What activities would you like to pursue to be creative?

Helpful Friends: What is most important to you in a friendship? What activities do you like to do with your friends?

Career: What would you like to pursue to give back to the world and be on your path?

Learning: What interests you, and what would you like to learn more about?

Family: What kind of relationship do you want with your biological family? What about your chosen family? What boundaries do you need to put in place?

Abundance: What do you need to do to reach the level of wealth you desire?

Reputation and Image: What does the presentation of yourself say to the world? Is this the message you want to be sending out?

Once we break down exactly what we are looking for in each category above, we can then see how we want to live our lives. We can see it, make a plan, and then take action to live it.

Once we “live with it,” we can decide if it is aligned with who we really are. If not, we can tweak, change, or dismiss what does not work for us, and begin again.

As our lives change, and we change, we can re-organize and continue to grow, and become the best version of ourselves. 

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Denying the Truth Doesn't Make it Go Away.

 

The difference between dwelling and ruminating on the past (and feeling like a victim), and being willing to get clarification (and expose our truth), is that the latter gives us peace.

Many of us don’t address things with others, as many of us have experienced being shut down when trying to discuss our truth with others. But the truth does not go away by ignoring it or shooing it away. It stays, and it gets stronger and stronger, as a callous on our foot does after we step on a splinter. And similar to a callous, our hearts and relationships can’t heal.

Talking through our truth allows us to come to an agreement and a reconciliation, and that strengthens trust. No matter how uncomfortable, reality is reality. We are not living in a perfect story, facades are shields trying to protect us from our pain. As we know, the human experience can be challenging, messy, ugly, painful, and heartbreaking. But that is only part of it.

Life is also beautiful, and once we get clarification, we come to terms with the truth, and we decide what to do with it. Whether we choose to look at it, address it, ignore it, or put a band aid on it, the truth will still be there.

Playing charades dishonors us, our relationships, and the truth. And from there, we can’t heal. Being in pain encourages us to go against one another.

We are all different, and we’re all impacted differently by the same situation. Opening up our mind and heart gives us empowerment. Remember, life is not a competition. We are all enough as we are.

Every opportunity gives us a chance for joy or growth, and from there we decide what to do with it.

We feel what we feel. Having the courage to speak up, we can be who we are in the best version of ourselves. The truth shines light on everything, including our magnificence.

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The Five Natural Emotions NOT To Suppress.

 

Suppressing emotions, and not allowing them to flow through us, is unhealthy. The same is true with anything that’s “stuck” within us, and causes emotional, mental, physical and spiritual disease. Dis-ease keeps us in a perpetual state of unease and discomfort. Our emotions are gifts and tools from your spirit to enable us to navigate life. According to the book “Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue” by Neale Donald Walsch, there are five natural emotions: Grief, Anger, Envy, Fear and Love. Below are brief descriptions, explaining how they serve us, and why we should not suppress them.



Grief
Grief is natural emotion after suffering a loss. It can be a physical death of a loved one, an end of a business venture, a dissolved marriage, an estranged family member, an injury that affects our physical abilities, unrequited love, or a loss of money.  Life situations can result in many of these losses happening at once. Grief can also be more subtle, such as losing a sports game or a piece of jewelry. Grief hurts, sometimes agonizingly so. Grief can occur when we need to say goodbye to something or someone, when we don’t want to. Leaning into grief and allowing the sadness to flow through us freely, allows emotions to guide us through the process of mourning. If we don’t allow this very natural and healthy process to happen, momentary grief can turn into chronic depression. Depression can destroy hope in the lives of those experiencing it, as well as those around them.


Anger
Anger is our spirit telling us to set boundaries. It is telling us to say “No” when we sense something, or someone, is crossing a boundary. It is living in our Spiritual Sovereignty (click here for more on my post of Spiritual Sovereignty), and remembering it is not only okay, but many times necessary, to say no. When we suppress our natural anger (which signals something is crossing a boundary), then the anger becomes rage. Ongoing rage is dangerous, and can be even deadly.



Envy  

It’s natural to feel envy. Envy tells us what we want by seeing it in another. By allowing the emotion to flow and signal our desires, it gives us the opportunity to see what we need for ourselves. This can create action. If we suppress the feeling of envy, and don’t take action, it becomes jealousy. Jealousy is a very unnatural emotion, and can be extremely damaging to our relationship with ourselves and others.

Fear
The purpose of natural fear is to give us protection. Caution helps keep us safe and alive. Gavin de Becker wrote a book “The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence,” which proved that when people did not listen to their natural instinct of fear, they became victims of violence. Listening to the feeling of “I shouldn’t get on that elevator,” or “something didn’t feel right about being alone with this person” can keep us safe, secure and alive. If we suppress our natural fear, it becomes panic. Ongoing panic keeps us in a perpetual fight or flight response mode, not allowing us to relax, stay safe and enjoy life. This will negatively affect us, physically and emotionally, and will affect people in our lives as a result.



Love
When love is allowed to be felt, expressed and shared without embarrassment, inhibition, manipulation or conditions, it is the strongest connection we can have to another being. When we are taught to love conditionally, with rules, and not openly, our feelings become suppressed. When we are not able to express our love limitless, we experience possessiveness, one of the most unhealthy and dangerous emotions that can destroy relationships and trust. We hold onto others in an unhealthy way, not allowing them to have their freedom to love in their own right. We are then unable to feel satisfied with what we are given by another. This negatively impacts ourselves, and others, in shared intimacy.

I will end my post with, “Be you.” Allowing our emotions to flow through us, (as the water does in the picture above) gives us a real sense of how to respond to a situation. As in the picture, no matter how we react, the rocks will still be there. We can flow over and through the rocks, or allow the rocks to create a dam. When we stop allowing personal, and outside, judgment from creating suppression, natural emotions flow without shame. Then we all benefit by becoming more of who we are, healed. 

 

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