Keeping the Holidays Sane, Simple and Real 🎄🕎🙏🏻

With the holidays coming at the end of the year, it’s great time to be reflective and thankful, and share with others what they mean to us. Sometimes with the holiday rush though, outside pressures, and need for everything to be perfect, can result in things getting costly, exhausting and frustrating.

Holiday Gifts: Instead of buying expensive gifts, maybe suggest token gifts and enjoy time together, even if it needs to be after the holidays. Instead of offense, you may just hear a sigh of relief! Some cool things to consider gifting are: 

🧶Something homemade 

💌A letter or poem letting someone know how much they mean to you

💍A family heirloom passed down

📺Subscriptions to websites, apps or streaming services

🎭Events or movie tickets

👟Association memberships

🥘Classes

💅Professional services

🥰You, and your time

Entertaining and Holiday Decorating: Truth is, people want to be around other people in order to feel a connection, not be bestowed with their decorations (at least that can be said for the people we want to be around!). And if there is an impression, it can be fleeting. What they will remember is the time with you. I used to worry endlessly about menus and setting everything up to impress, but now I enjoy the moment and the people I am with, and allow myself to be human. If you enjoy doing it and it’s fun, great. If you are doing it to impress, it may be something you need to re-think. Some of my best memories are being with people in one of our homes with no fanfare, just creating memories. When cooking recipes, things sometimes don’t come out perfectly, and that’s okay. It doesn’t matter. Just have fun with it and don’t let your need to be perfect stop you from trying new things. As Julia Child once said "One of the secrets, and pleasures, of cooking is to learn to correct something if it goes awry; and one of the lessons is to grin and bear it if it cannot be fixed.” Good advice for cooking, holidays, and life.

Schedules: To help keep holiday events and invites organized, I like to keep everything in my calendar, color coordinated, so I can see what I need to prepare for, and how many things I have scheduled. I get an overview of what my days and weeks ahead look like in order to plan new events. I am then able to manage my time without over-scheduling or missing commitments. 

Eating Healthy: When I eat out, I like to check out menus beforehand, so I can get a sense of what will be a good option, both in terms of taste and health. When going to a buffet-style event, I do the “food tour” before piling anything on my plate. I see what is available and then pick my favorites. When going to events at people’s homes, I take a little bit of everything to be respectful and appreciative of the host, and then enjoy what I am eating in moderation. 

The holidays are a great time for us to be present and connect with others. As people remember the way that they feel, (as opposed to the taste of the meals, the decorations, or expensive gifts) it’s great to focus on the experience and time well spent, and savor the moment as a result. The holidays can be a great reason to get together with people you haven’t seen in a while, and reflect and enjoy what can be the most wonderful time of the year. My wish for you is to enjoy, in whatever ways your holidays are spent.

 

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The Freedom of Living With Less. 🕊💫

 📸 image by https://unsplash.com/@harpersunday

Minimalism is not just a design concept of living in a sparse, mostly white, sterile looking room. Living a Minimalistic Lifestyle is a concept of being realistic about what we need, what is going to add value to our life, and what we truly value. Having lots and lots of stuff is overwhelming, distracting and expensive. When I worked as an organizer, I met clients who had many items (often very expensive ones) that they had lost interest in, or had no use for, and they felt overwhelmed trying to keep track of it all. Looking at closets full of stuff and knowing the amount of money we have wasted by not using these things, brings regret and shame - and it suffocates our spirit.

But we can’t just blame ourselves. In the consumerist society in which we live, we are urged and constantly bombarded to buy things - things that we may or may not need, may or may not have use for, probably don’t have room for, but look interesting enough to click, “add to cart” and order. On accounts where we are members, we don’t even have to punch in our credit card, as they already have it. Based on our shopping and browsing history, suggestions of things will pop up in our feed (as well as other websites that are tracking our history). And with all that convenience comes the added feature of everything being delivered to our doorstep in 24 hours. Multiple studies show that when people receive things that they bought, but do not like or need, very few return the items because of the hassle. 

By buying less, owning less and living with less, we can give our full attention and appreciation to what we do have and love, and we can give special care to those special items. With this, comes the ability to focus, and be more grateful. Things that are stuffed in corners, closets, or rooms locked up for no one to see, are mind numbing. When we have lots and lots of stuff, it’s hard to manage, hard to find things and hard to give special interest to anything.

Some people love having things in their space that bring back memories of their life experiences, but I suggest trying to eliminate at least 5 things that either no longer bring you joy, subject you to negative feelings, remind you of things you have wasted money on, or items that simply do not serve you. Once you do that, try 5 more. This can turn into a habit of being mindful of your space and lifestyle, so much so that while passing a bookshelf, you may see a book that you know you will never read again, and without hesitation, you grab it off the shelf and donate it. 

There is also the financial aspect. Things cost money to buy, repair and maintain. We waste money when we purchase things that we already own, but can’t keep track of.

Living a Minimalistic Lifestyle is living with intention. In spiritual terms, intention is the energy of us telling the universe what we want. The universe will help us, if we give it the direction. What do we intentionally want and need? What matters? Not only will your life feel more free with more intentional living, but having less will free up your mind to focus on things that truly matter to you. 

Ask yourself this big question: “How much is enough?” We have nothing to prove, nothing to show, and we need nothing needed to give us a sense of worth, because we are already enough without our stuff. 

 

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I had a dream…to mind my own business! 😳🙈

I would like to share a dream with you I had in the hopes that it inspires you, and wakes you up to your own “dreams.” In this dream, I was was sitting at the edge of a lake watching the most amazing sunset I had ever experienced. It was magical with colors I hadn’t seen before, both electric and awe-inspiring. I was staring at this enchanting sky, completely taken away by the sheer beauty of it all, allowing the experience to take me outside of myself to another place. All the pieces of life felt like they were in place.

And then suddenly, I heard whispering off to my left. I had to make the decision to continue watching this beautiful sky or look to see what was happening. From habit, obsessive behavior, or just “needing to know,” I turned my head away from this gift to see what was going on. 

I could see there were people in the darkness, but I couldn’t make them out. They were silhouettes speaking in muffled voices. It was not menacing or threatening, but because I wasn’t sure what they were doing, I took all my focus away from the sunset to see what was happening. Again, wondering if they were planning something that I “needed to know about.” It turned out to be nothing. 

When I turned to look back to the sky ready to take in the sheer magnificence of it all, the sunset was gone. I lost the moment. How many moments do we lose, “needing to know” what other people are doing? Saying? Living? Choosing? All of which has nothing to do with us? 

In my dream, I lost the magnificent sunset, but it symbolized so much more. When I awoke, I took this dream as a huge lesson to stay focused on the beauty, the splendor, and the promise of what can be.

I often take pictures of sunrises and sunsets to always remind myself not to lose cherished moments. It’s not easy, and I for one, am always working on this.

May your days be filled with many ongoing moments that will take your breath away, and may your life be everything you want it to be. With clarity, focus, stillness, and courage to implement what we want (not to mention minding our own business!) we can make it our reality. 🙏🏻

 

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Feng Shui - Design Your Space to Transform Your Life. ✨🌈💫

I have loved Feng Shui, an ancient study on the energy in our environment and how it affects us emotionally, spiritually, physically and psychologically, for as long as I can remember. I am fascinated with its theory and love the feel of a room when it is feng shui’d. It makes a difference.

The theory involves placement of furniture and decorative items, color and organization and how it affects us. It creates flow in space that can be seen, and mostly, felt. We feel we belong in a space if it is done the right way. There is much to it, given that each area of your space, (building, home and rooms within space) defines a certain aspect of your life. Done the right way, it can have a very positive effect on all areas of happiness including love, wealth, health, relationships, reputation, creativity, wisdom and even our own sense of purpose. 

Above I posted a Bagua chart which demonstrates different areas within space to be thoughtfully placed. The energy will move through a home, building, and individual rooms, which is advantageous to us. 

I have written a brief description of each area below. I will be writing more on each area, and will go into more depth in future posts, so keep checking back.

Number 1 area, the bottom middle space, is career or journey, our purpose. The question, (what most of us think of) is “why am I here?” and “where am I going?” This location in our space should include water, as it moves and affects our emotions and drive, as life constantly moves. In this area, we can place actual water of a fish tank, or even just a picture of moving water. Another idea would be pictures, or decorative pieces, of where you want to go and what you would like to be doing. If direction is an issue for you, think of placing maps here to give you a path of your journey. Blue and black are great colors for this area.

Number 2 area, the top right corner, is the corner of relationships. For intimate relationships, the most important room to look at is your bedroom, as it is the room which denotes the most intimacy, closeness and safety. As in all spaces, there should be no clutter in this room, as it can create confusion and overwhelm. Edges should be soft, as it is comforting and nurturing. Colors should be soft and warm. Fabric should be comfortable and cozy. There should be no sharp edges or stark images, as they are unyielding. If you are a single person looking for love, take note of this area, as well as all areas in your home, and discard solitary figures. Pairing up items (even candles) will create the energy of twosomes. The visual will be important. This corner is also about female energy, so if you want woman power, make sure this area is perfected.

Number 3 area, the middle left area, is the area denoting elders in our family and also maturity. Growth is needed to not get stuck in old patterns, and to practice forgiveness for family members who have hurt us. This space should include pictures of happy family members, together and joyous, as well as tall green plants for growth within. Green is an excellent color for this area, as it shows growth and healing.

Number 4 area, the top left corner, represents wealth and good fortune. Money is associated with wealth, but wealth can be experienced through a wealth of fortune in all areas. Note the color of green - the color of money and growth, as it is in nature. In this area, you might put a healthy upwardly growing plant, or a fish tank, as it is nourished by water. Even a picture of water or fish (goldfish is my favorite) will do you well in this area. 

Number 5 area, the center, is your health, and the place where everything meets. This needs balance. It is the center of the room - so it should be cleared of clutter. This will keep the energy uninterrupted as it flows through the room, as you would likewise want energy flowing properly through your body without interruption or blockages.

Number 6 area, the bottom right, is helpful friends. This is a great place for pictures of friends in metal frames (silver and white are the colors to put here) to liven up your social life with supportive people. You may want to place happy pictures of friends, a telephone, or any object that symbolizes invitations. And make sure you have good lighting - nothing too dark and gloomy!

Number 7 area, the middle right, is creativity, one of my favorite areas. It is a place for joy, imagination, the arts, and pleasure. Place things here that inspire you to be creative - anything fun, and joyous. Something that lights you up and gets your juices flowing. The color silver works great as it sparkles, so include silver frames or pieces for the extra pizazz.

Number 8 area, bottom left, is the place of wisdom. This area’s color is brown, the color of a cave. Items here should be heavy and solid to give us a sense of grounding. A library would be perfect here, and if not, a great corner of a room or home where you can read, reflect, learn, research and meditate. 

Number 9 area, the top center, is reputation and illumination. What do you want to be known for? This area will bring clarity, vision and enlightenment. Anything inspirational will be perfect, including a poem, paintings, treasured items or a book - anything that lights you up. This is a great area for the color red and candles, as they represent fire and illumination. Be careful though, as too much can be too fiery and you may find yourself in heated exchanges.

All areas should be devoid of clutter. Clutter and mess in Feng Shui is a big no-no, as it has energy that is disorganized and distracting. For most of us, it is hard to look at clutter and not feel completely overwhelmed. Declutter (more of a post on this later), regroup, get clarity and find your Place of Zen. I will be writing more on Feng Shui in future posts, including deeper dives into each room and their meanings, including the use of color. Stay tuned and keep checking back in for more.

 

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Relationship Clutter. Weeding out Your Garden of Love. 🌺🌱🍅🥕

Relationship clutter - we all have it. People in our lives who knock us down, compete about everything from silverware to vacations, and are skilled at giving passive aggressive, hurtful, and underhanded comments.

I believe it is always a good time to look at the people in our lives, and take an honest assessment by asking ourselves, "Is this person loving, supportive, fun, and most importantly, can I be myself in their presence without thinking about every word I say and every thing I do?" The key is to be ourselves, knowing we will be accepted as we are. 

For the garden reference - year after year, I witness friends preparing and spending much of their time getting ready to plant their gardens. It takes an inordinate amount of effort, heart felt focus, planning and maintenance. This work is done over and over, every day, for a long while before they see one bud, before they can count on one sprout, one peak of color, one promise of the season. Yet there they are, out there day after day, supporting the effort of growing their garden. Some years are better than others, some crops will surprise them with their abundance, but one thing is certain, they have to know what they want the garden to look like. So why don’t we put this much effort into the one thing that probably affects us the most as human beings - our relationship garden? What do we need to nourish, what do we need to weed out?

Letting go is sometimes healthy and necessary, and really good for us. Keeping unhealthy people in our lives can keep us obsessive, upset, off balance, and endlessly trying to figure things out (been there, done that!). Then we can’t enjoy anything outside the relationship which is good, healthy and fun. Much like weeds will strangle a garden.

The good news is we can look at our relationships and decide what we want them to look like, by looking at some current not so great ones to decide what and who we can let go of. Then we can be in an agreed upon relationship including love, support and respect. We can decide which ones are worth saving and savoring. 

May your relationship garden grow to the heavens with love and support!

 

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Summer Season Ending - Change, Acceptance and Moving On. ☀️⛱🌬🍁

Labor Day marks the end of summer. Many people view this with sadness as it represents the last days of long weekends, extended hours of sunshine, days at the beach, ice cream and shortened work weeks.

And what we overlook is the beginning of Autumn, which is one of the loveliest and most colorful times of the year. Who could argue smelling the crisp air and seeing vibrant fall colors brings new life to the stillness of summer? 

For many of us, it’s tough to let go of the freedom summer provides, with going back to more structured schedules. We don’t like that we have to give it up, forgetting that life is going to move on regardless of wether we decide to accept things as they are or not. 

Going through many, many transitions, a big lesson for me is that things are going to change. Some of those changes have been glorious, others not so much. It’s about navigating and working through it, even when I don’t want to. People leave us, we leave them. We age. The economy goes up and down, businesses change, end, and begin, because what people need also changes. We move, we need to say goodbye (and hello!). Illness happens, healing happens. People sometimes unexpectedly change their minds. 

I’ve navigated almost every life change you can imagine and I've been able to move on by looking back in order to move forward. I treasure every moment I can, knowing it may end, and allow myself to be in a place of gratitude, acceptance and navigation - still wondering what the next season of life is going to be like for me? 

I also look back. I have this obsession with tracking things. All kinds of things. Crazy things. I just love seeing where I’ve been and what it created. It helps me understand my state of mind at the time, as well as what I could have done differently, to be in a better place. I can then plan what needs to be done in order to move forward. The clarity is what aids in the momentum, and helps maintain perspective. This gives me amazing clarity, since all too often what we think we are doing is different than what it actually is.

Foresight and insight are very close cousins. In order to somewhat predict (because we never know) what will happen, or what will be needed in the future, we need the foresight to see patterns, pay attention and act accordingly. The insight comes from using that knowledge to get an accurate and intuitive understanding, so we can then pivot and be who we want, and live as we choose in the future, given all the facts. Throughout it all, believing you absolutely CAN AND WILL DO THIS, will propel you.

 

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Spiritual Sovereignty 👑 . Living authentically and not living for what others will judge us for.

Being concerned with what other people think can be an important part of socialization and inclusion, and it can also hold us back. Being overly concerned about other’s opinions so that we no longer hear or trust our own instincts, is dulling down our senses and intuition. We live in a web of interactions which is designed to keep the system going. There will be those that profit or are kept in charge, those who work very hard to get nowhere and keep the powerful powerful, those who become enraged with the system and commit violence, and those who will give willingly only because they were told to. In this script of life, there will be good guys, bad guys, and people pointing out who is who. Until it switches upside down. 

This happens in families (who is really in charge?) many times, not the ones most vested in keeping the family safe, cared for and together. It happens in business (the hierarchies of unjustified power, backstabbing, favorites, and pacts), in schools (a system that longer works, but no one questions it), and in social interactions (a self nominated “leader,” and everyone willingly falling into a certain role, keeping their place). Call it dynamics or call it the Matrix, it exists.

When we back away from our own sovereignty in order to belong, so we don’t get attacked, stolen from, shamed, or even worse, abandoned, it keeps our higher selves from acting and being in accordance with our own sense of what we know. It takes courage, fearlessness and readiness to face the opposition. All while not being too attached to it all. As we grow in life, we realize it all changes anyway.

Spiritual Sovereignty is not the same as being stubborn, refusing to be open to other ways of looking at life. It is about being one within self, and being open to explore what we may not know. The next time you are in a situation or have an opinion that gets questioned and you are shaken, ask yourself “why is this rocking my world?” Perhaps have a real conversation as to why the other person sees things the way they do. Listen with empathy, an open heart and a curious mind to perhaps alter your opinion, teach you another way of looking at things, or give you another view that might not ultimately change your mind, but opens you for listening nonetheless.

If not wanting to confront someone, read an article that opposes your current situation or your view. Travel to a culture that is different than your own. Ultimately, if you have the courage, ask yourself  “What if everything I thought all along was right, is actually wrong?” 

Then take a minute to really let that sink in, allow yourself to become humbled and connect to the universe knowing we are here to grow and then recreate the grandest version we’ve ever had of ourselves. We have to first see the whole wide world and then decide. And then we can live as we are, as we grow.

 

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