Relationship Clutter. Weeding out Your Garden of Love. 🌺🌱🍅🥕

Relationship clutter - we all have it. People in our lives who knock us down, compete about everything from silverware to vacations, and are skilled at giving passive aggressive, hurtful, and underhanded comments.

I believe it is always a good time to look at the people in our lives, and take an honest assessment by asking ourselves, "Is this person loving, supportive, fun, and most importantly, can I be myself in their presence without thinking about every word I say and every thing I do?" The key is to be ourselves, knowing we will be accepted as we are. 

For the garden reference - year after year, I witness friends preparing and spending much of their time getting ready to plant their gardens. It takes an inordinate amount of effort, heart felt focus, planning and maintenance. This work is done over and over, every day, for a long while before they see one bud, before they can count on one sprout, one peak of color, one promise of the season. Yet there they are, out there day after day, supporting the effort of growing their garden. Some years are better than others, some crops will surprise them with their abundance, but one thing is certain, they have to know what they want the garden to look like. So why don’t we put this much effort into the one thing that probably affects us the most as human beings - our relationship garden? What do we need to nourish, what do we need to weed out?

Letting go is sometimes healthy and necessary, and really good for us. Keeping unhealthy people in our lives can keep us obsessive, upset, off balance, and endlessly trying to figure things out (been there, done that!). Then we can’t enjoy anything outside the relationship which is good, healthy and fun. Much like weeds will strangle a garden.

The good news is we can look at our relationships and decide what we want them to look like, by looking at some current not so great ones to decide what and who we can let go of. Then we can be in an agreed upon relationship including love, support and respect. We can decide which ones are worth saving and savoring. 

May your relationship garden grow to the heavens with love and support!

 

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Summer Season Ending - Change, Acceptance and Moving On. ☀️⛱🌬🍁

Labor Day marks the end of summer. Many people view this with sadness as it represents the last days of long weekends, extended hours of sunshine, days at the beach, ice cream and shortened work weeks.

And what we overlook is the beginning of Autumn, which is one of the loveliest and most colorful times of the year. Who could argue smelling the crisp air and seeing vibrant fall colors brings new life to the stillness of summer? 

For many of us, it’s tough to let go of the freedom summer provides, with going back to more structured schedules. We don’t like that we have to give it up, forgetting that life is going to move on regardless of wether we decide to accept things as they are or not. 

Going through many, many transitions, a big lesson for me is that things are going to change. Some of those changes have been glorious, others not so much. It’s about navigating and working through it, even when I don’t want to. People leave us, we leave them. We age. The economy goes up and down, businesses change, end, and begin, because what people need also changes. We move, we need to say goodbye (and hello!). Illness happens, healing happens. People sometimes unexpectedly change their minds. 

I’ve navigated almost every life change you can imagine and I've been able to move on by looking back in order to move forward. I treasure every moment I can, knowing it may end, and allow myself to be in a place of gratitude, acceptance and navigation - still wondering what the next season of life is going to be like for me? 

I also look back. I have this obsession with tracking things. All kinds of things. Crazy things. I just love seeing where I’ve been and what it created. It helps me understand my state of mind at the time, as well as what I could have done differently, to be in a better place. I can then plan what needs to be done in order to move forward. The clarity is what aids in the momentum, and helps maintain perspective. This gives me amazing clarity, since all too often what we think we are doing is different than what it actually is.

Foresight and insight are very close cousins. In order to somewhat predict (because we never know) what will happen, or what will be needed in the future, we need the foresight to see patterns, pay attention and act accordingly. The insight comes from using that knowledge to get an accurate and intuitive understanding, so we can then pivot and be who we want, and live as we choose in the future, given all the facts. Throughout it all, believing you absolutely CAN AND WILL DO THIS, will propel you.

 

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