Relationship Clutter. Weeding out Your Garden of Love. 🌺🌱🍅🥕

Relationship clutter - we all have it. People in our lives who knock us down, compete about everything from silverware to vacations, and are skilled at giving passive aggressive, hurtful, and underhanded comments.

I believe it is always a good time to look at the people in our lives, and take an honest assessment by asking ourselves, "Is this person loving, supportive, fun, and most importantly, can I be myself in their presence without thinking about every word I say and every thing I do?" The key is to be ourselves, knowing we will be accepted as we are. 

For the garden reference - year after year, I witness friends preparing and spending much of their time getting ready to plant their gardens. It takes an inordinate amount of effort, heart felt focus, planning and maintenance. This work is done over and over, every day, for a long while before they see one bud, before they can count on one sprout, one peak of color, one promise of the season. Yet there they are, out there day after day, supporting the effort of growing their garden. Some years are better than others, some crops will surprise them with their abundance, but one thing is certain, they have to know what they want the garden to look like. So why don’t we put this much effort into the one thing that probably affects us the most as human beings - our relationship garden? What do we need to nourish, what do we need to weed out?

Letting go is sometimes healthy and necessary, and really good for us. Keeping unhealthy people in our lives can keep us obsessive, upset, off balance, and endlessly trying to figure things out (been there, done that!). Then we can’t enjoy anything outside the relationship which is good, healthy and fun. Much like weeds will strangle a garden.

The good news is we can look at our relationships and decide what we want them to look like, by looking at some current not so great ones to decide what and who we can let go of. Then we can be in an agreed upon relationship including love, support and respect. We can decide which ones are worth saving and savoring. 

May your relationship garden grow to the heavens with love and support!

 

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Spiritual Sovereignty 👑 . Living authentically and not living for what others will judge us for.

Being concerned with what other people think can be an important part of socialization and inclusion, and it can also hold us back. Being overly concerned about other’s opinions so that we no longer hear or trust our own instincts, is dulling down our senses and intuition. We live in a web of interactions which is designed to keep the system going. There will be those that profit or are kept in charge, those who work very hard to get nowhere and keep the powerful powerful, those who become enraged with the system and commit violence, and those who will give willingly only because they were told to. In this script of life, there will be good guys, bad guys, and people pointing out who is who. Until it switches upside down. 

This happens in families (who is really in charge?) many times, not the ones most vested in keeping the family safe, cared for and together. It happens in business (the hierarchies of unjustified power, backstabbing, favorites, and pacts), in schools (a system that longer works, but no one questions it), and in social interactions (a self nominated “leader,” and everyone willingly falling into a certain role, keeping their place). Call it dynamics or call it the Matrix, it exists.

When we back away from our own sovereignty in order to belong, so we don’t get attacked, stolen from, shamed, or even worse, abandoned, it keeps our higher selves from acting and being in accordance with our own sense of what we know. It takes courage, fearlessness and readiness to face the opposition. All while not being too attached to it all. As we grow in life, we realize it all changes anyway.

Spiritual Sovereignty is not the same as being stubborn, refusing to be open to other ways of looking at life. It is about being one within self, and being open to explore what we may not know. The next time you are in a situation or have an opinion that gets questioned and you are shaken, ask yourself “why is this rocking my world?” Perhaps have a real conversation as to why the other person sees things the way they do. Listen with empathy, an open heart and a curious mind to perhaps alter your opinion, teach you another way of looking at things, or give you another view that might not ultimately change your mind, but opens you for listening nonetheless.

If not wanting to confront someone, read an article that opposes your current situation or your view. Travel to a culture that is different than your own. Ultimately, if you have the courage, ask yourself  “What if everything I thought all along was right, is actually wrong?” 

Then take a minute to really let that sink in, allow yourself to become humbled and connect to the universe knowing we are here to grow and then recreate the grandest version we’ve ever had of ourselves. We have to first see the whole wide world and then decide. And then we can live as we are, as we grow.

 

If you would like to see more, please subscribe to my blog by sending an email to HolisticSpiritualLiving@yahoo.com. 

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