Watching the movie of our lives from the other side. 🎦🙏🏻😇

I am writing this blog, as it is two years this weekend that I lost my mom. I often wonder where she is, and if she has found peace on the other side. I believe she has. It’s the most surreal thing in the world to lose someone so close to you, such as a parent. I was with my mother in her last moments, when she took her last breath and passed away. The nurses in hospice had prepared me - they know when someone will transition within 24 hours. Watching my mother in her last moments was beautiful. We knew she was ill and in pain, and now she was in her final stage. It was serene, spiritual, and magical in its own way. I was watching her release her pain from this world and go to the other side. 

There has been much documentation regarding what happens after we pass, from people who have experienced a near death experience. They collectively say that we look back on our lives, and review it as though it’s a movie. We see how our actions and decisions have affected other people. We also observe how our actions may have affected their lives and decisions, which, in turn, may have affected other people’s lives and decisions. It’s an ongoing cycle, always turning and twisting.

What I find interesting is that in contrast of this notion, is that while we’re here on earth, we mostly think about ourselves.

I remember years ago speaking with someone who told me he was not spiritual, and that he was an atheist. He shared with me that he knew if he believed in “something,” he would have made different decisions. We both knew he meant “better decisions.”

Why? Because when you live a spiritual life, you believe there’s something bigger than yourself. The “self” wants immediate gratification, it wants to be right, it wants to be recognized, and many times, it wants to be glorified. The ego needs that to survive. Alternatively, thinking of ourselves as part of the “whole,” makes us more compassionate. And as we try to comprehend what we cannot understand, it helps us become more whole with others, and stronger together, as a result. 

Our actions mean something, and that matters, even if someone challenges us. 

I’ll end this blog with a little story Years ago, sitting in a small cafe in New York City, a woman walked in with this incredible flair and I complimented her on her outfit. She responded with, “You don’t know how much that means to me today. I am feeling terrible about myself, ugly and disconnected. I could hardly get out of the house. Your compliment really made my day and uplifted my spirits.” I didn’t know anything about her, but what I did know was what a compliment about someone’s outfit could do for her self esteem and feeling of worthiness.

Many people don’t divulge if they’re having disagreements with their spouses or are going through a divorce, or have concerns about money. They may have frustration with their kids, or concerns about their health. Or it could be they simply feel tired, old, and unlovable.

So, what will your movie show you about your life?

 

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Does anyone want better sleep? 🙋🏻‍♀️😴😊

Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@kstonematheson

Seriously, what a question! 😂

We all have natural biological clocks and rhythms. Following a 24 hour cycle, these rhythms respond mostly to light and dark. This process affects our health, involving our hormone release (including melatonin), eating habits, digestion, and body temperature. Things that can interrupt this rhythm are jet lag, time differences (including daylight savings time), electronic devices, and dramatic life events. Once our circadian rhythms get off kilter, it can difficult to get back on track without a conscious effort to realign ourselves. As it turns out, there’s more than one schedule to follow, according to our chronotype. 

So, what’s a chronotype? 

According to Dr. Michael Breus, a clinical psychologist and sleep medicine expert, chronotypes are genetic. The theory is it comes from our species’ need for survival, with different individuals needing to watch the fort at night, and others during the day. There are four chronotypes, the Lion (morning person), the Bear (daytime person), the Wolf (a night owl), and the Dolphin (who has difficulty creating a schedule and is more prone to insomnia).

Here are the four types, along with some relevant tips (a link below is provided for you to take the quiz, but can you guess your chronotype first?):

🦁Are you a Lion? 

A Lion is a morning person, typically waking up naturally as early as 4am or 5am. For this type, it is best to eat breakfast within an hour of getting out of bed in order to synchronize the body clock to the day. As Lions are at their peak in the early morning, this is the time they should be doing their most productive tasks that need top focus. With lots of energy early on, they tend to wane after lunch, and should be doing lighter cognitive activities thereafter. Exercising late afternoon (between 4pm and 6pm), eating dinner afterwards, and then binge watching TV at night is great for their chronotype. An early evening shower is best in order to relax and get a good night’s sleep. Typically, Lions are high energy, are very interested in their health, are organized, and have a list for just about everything (or in my case, a spreadsheet). 

🐻Perhaps a Bear? 

The Bear’s schedule is tuned into sunrise and sunset. They typically get up at 7am, and go to bed around 11pm. Lucky them! This makes the 9am-5pm workday perfect for their chronotype, and gives them enough energy throughout the day to get work done, and ease into the evening. Bears do well to start their day at 7am, then follow up with breakfast within the hour, followed by a cool shower. Their peak performance time is 10am - 3pm, ideally getting a nap in at 2pm. Lighter tasks are recommended thereafter until 6pm. Exercise and dinner at 7pm, followed by binge watching TV works best for them in order to unwind. Bears like, and need, 8 hours of sleep, so the proper wind down, including an evening shower after dinner, works best. Bears get the work done, are affable and fun to be around, and make great friends.

🐺Or maybe a Wolf? 

Wolves are night owls. They wake around 7am (or later), and go to bed at midnight (or later). No surprise, their peak performance time is late afternoon into late evening. If at all possible, a nap around 2pm is perfect. Doing research, making plans, and memory recall is best after 6pm. Exercise is best around 7pm. 9pm and later is their best time for socialization. A hot shower or bath is recommended late evening, before bedtime, so they can wind down and get a good night’s sleep. Wolves are intelligent and creative - often artists, musicians, and authors, and most are risk takers who don’t follow traditional norms.

🐬Or somehow a Dolphin? 

Dolphins are the insomniacs and have a difficult time with any sleep schedule. Because they are light sleepers, they have irregular sleep patterns. Being very sensitive to sound and light, they are easily awakened. As they naturally get less sleep, it is recommended they get out of bed around 6am, and then take a morning run and cold shower to get invigorated to start their day around 7am. Eating breakfast at 8am, or shortly thereafter, works for them. Dolphins are most productive starting at 3pm, with exercise at 6pm. A hot shower or bath at 9pm winds them down for a midnight bedtime. Dolphins are intelligent and perfectionists.

All chronotypes, except Dolphins, do best to eat within an hour of waking, followed by a nap at some point in their day. All four archetypes are advised to stop eating two hours before bedtime, taking an hour to unwind lets the body know it’s time to wind down and get ready for sleep. This routine sets our body clocks, and prepares us to greet the day. People who follow their correct chronotype schedule have said they have gotten better sleep, lost weight, and feel in sync with their bodies.

To find out your chronotype, click here to take the quiz. 

For more in-depth information (and to change your life!), read Michael Breus' book: 

“The Power of When: Discover Your Chronotype--and the Best Time to Eat Lunch, Ask for a Raise, Have Sex, Write a Novel, Take Your Meds, and More” by Michael Breus. 

It has helped me a lot, and a few surprises have worked in my favor, happy to say! 

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I had a dream…to mind my own business! 😳🙈

I would like to share a dream with you I had in the hopes that it inspires you, and wakes you up to your own “dreams.” In this dream, I was was sitting at the edge of a lake watching the most amazing sunset I had ever experienced. It was magical with colors I hadn’t seen before, both electric and awe-inspiring. I was staring at this enchanting sky, completely taken away by the sheer beauty of it all, allowing the experience to take me outside of myself to another place. All the pieces of life felt like they were in place.

And then suddenly, I heard whispering off to my left. I had to make the decision to continue watching this beautiful sky or look to see what was happening. From habit, obsessive behavior, or just “needing to know,” I turned my head away from this gift to see what was going on. 

I could see there were people in the darkness, but I couldn’t make them out. They were silhouettes speaking in muffled voices. It was not menacing or threatening, but because I wasn’t sure what they were doing, I took all my focus away from the sunset to see what was happening. Again, wondering if they were planning something that I “needed to know about.” It turned out to be nothing. 

When I turned to look back to the sky ready to take in the sheer magnificence of it all, the sunset was gone. I lost the moment. How many moments do we lose, “needing to know” what other people are doing? Saying? Living? Choosing? All of which has nothing to do with us? 

In my dream, I lost the magnificent sunset, but it symbolized so much more. When I awoke, I took this dream as a huge lesson to stay focused on the beauty, the splendor, and the promise of what can be.

I often take pictures of sunrises and sunsets to always remind myself not to lose cherished moments. It’s not easy, and I for one, am always working on this.

May your days be filled with many ongoing moments that will take your breath away, and may your life be everything you want it to be. With clarity, focus, stillness, and courage to implement what we want (not to mention minding our own business!) we can make it our reality. 🙏🏻

 

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Feng Shui - Design Your Space to Transform Your Life. ✨🌈💫

I have loved Feng Shui, an ancient study on the energy in our environment and how it affects us emotionally, spiritually, physically and psychologically, for as long as I can remember. I am fascinated with its theory and love the feel of a room when it is feng shui’d. It makes a difference.

The theory involves placement of furniture and decorative items, color and organization and how it affects us. It creates flow in space that can be seen, and mostly, felt. We feel we belong in a space if it is done the right way. There is much to it, given that each area of your space, (building, home and rooms within space) defines a certain aspect of your life. Done the right way, it can have a very positive effect on all areas of happiness including love, wealth, health, relationships, reputation, creativity, wisdom and even our own sense of purpose. 

Above I posted a Bagua chart which demonstrates different areas within space to be thoughtfully placed. The energy will move through a home, building, and individual rooms, which is advantageous to us. 

I have written a brief description of each area below. I will be writing more on each area, and will go into more depth in future posts, so keep checking back.

Number 1 area, the bottom middle space, is career or journey, our purpose. The question, (what most of us think of) is “why am I here?” and “where am I going?” This location in our space should include water, as it moves and affects our emotions and drive, as life constantly moves. In this area, we can place actual water of a fish tank, or even just a picture of moving water. Another idea would be pictures, or decorative pieces, of where you want to go and what you would like to be doing. If direction is an issue for you, think of placing maps here to give you a path of your journey. Blue and black are great colors for this area.

Number 2 area, the top right corner, is the corner of relationships. For intimate relationships, the most important room to look at is your bedroom, as it is the room which denotes the most intimacy, closeness and safety. As in all spaces, there should be no clutter in this room, as it can create confusion and overwhelm. Edges should be soft, as it is comforting and nurturing. Colors should be soft and warm. Fabric should be comfortable and cozy. There should be no sharp edges or stark images, as they are unyielding. If you are a single person looking for love, take note of this area, as well as all areas in your home, and discard solitary figures. Pairing up items (even candles) will create the energy of twosomes. The visual will be important. This corner is also about female energy, so if you want woman power, make sure this area is perfected.

Number 3 area, the middle left area, is the area denoting elders in our family and also maturity. Growth is needed to not get stuck in old patterns, and to practice forgiveness for family members who have hurt us. This space should include pictures of happy family members, together and joyous, as well as tall green plants for growth within. Green is an excellent color for this area, as it shows growth and healing.

Number 4 area, the top left corner, represents wealth and good fortune. Money is associated with wealth, but wealth can be experienced through a wealth of fortune in all areas. Note the color of green - the color of money and growth, as it is in nature. In this area, you might put a healthy upwardly growing plant, or a fish tank, as it is nourished by water. Even a picture of water or fish (goldfish is my favorite) will do you well in this area. 

Number 5 area, the center, is your health, and the place where everything meets. This needs balance. It is the center of the room - so it should be cleared of clutter. This will keep the energy uninterrupted as it flows through the room, as you would likewise want energy flowing properly through your body without interruption or blockages.

Number 6 area, the bottom right, is helpful friends. This is a great place for pictures of friends in metal frames (silver and white are the colors to put here) to liven up your social life with supportive people. You may want to place happy pictures of friends, a telephone, or any object that symbolizes invitations. And make sure you have good lighting - nothing too dark and gloomy!

Number 7 area, the middle right, is creativity, one of my favorite areas. It is a place for joy, imagination, the arts, and pleasure. Place things here that inspire you to be creative - anything fun, and joyous. Something that lights you up and gets your juices flowing. The color silver works great as it sparkles, so include silver frames or pieces for the extra pizazz.

Number 8 area, bottom left, is the place of wisdom. This area’s color is brown, the color of a cave. Items here should be heavy and solid to give us a sense of grounding. A library would be perfect here, and if not, a great corner of a room or home where you can read, reflect, learn, research and meditate. 

Number 9 area, the top center, is reputation and illumination. What do you want to be known for? This area will bring clarity, vision and enlightenment. Anything inspirational will be perfect, including a poem, paintings, treasured items or a book - anything that lights you up. This is a great area for the color red and candles, as they represent fire and illumination. Be careful though, as too much can be too fiery and you may find yourself in heated exchanges.

All areas should be devoid of clutter. Clutter and mess in Feng Shui is a big no-no, as it has energy that is disorganized and distracting. For most of us, it is hard to look at clutter and not feel completely overwhelmed. Declutter (more of a post on this later), regroup, get clarity and find your Place of Zen. I will be writing more on Feng Shui in future posts, including deeper dives into each room and their meanings, including the use of color. Stay tuned and keep checking back in for more.

 

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