Mondays are not supposed to be manic.

 

In astrology, Monday is ruled by the Moon.

The moon is the ruler of Cancer. This can bring emotions to the surface, sharpen our intuition, and give us the need to nurture and be nurtured. 

Monday is a day to go deep into our subconscious, lean into our creativity, and bring comfort to ourselves and others. 

Wear pastel, cooler colors to feel more at peace, and be in sync with the ethereal, feminine moon. 

I hope this short resonates with you and helps you on your path. 

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What loss can bring us.

Life will bring us many twists and turns, many of which we aren’t expecting or prepared for. Some of them will break our hearts.

Loss is part of our process. Once it happens, the healing can begin with the unraveling of events, as we are no longer in the situation. Then the release can happen as we take ownership of our role in things, as well as getting validation of what we went through. 

Once we continue on our journey and heal, we start to bounce back from the loss. In order to create new positive experiences, healing can be time to make assessments, adjustments and grow spiritually.

Being creatures of habit, change and transition can be super difficult - especially when it is not planned for or on our “to do list.” So how do we forge ahead?

We accept what it was, what it is, and recognize what the loss brings us. What did we learn from the other person, even if that means what we don’t want to become? What could we have done to be a better version of ourselves? How can we forge ahead free from past prejudices, even if they were put upon us by the people and circumstances in our lives? 

Loss doesn’t always mean failure.

This new perspective gives us opportunities to fill up the gaps the loss brought us with new ideas, new experiences and new ways to contribute to the world. It allows us to have a new vision with new paths.

So when your loss feels like it is eating up your heart (as well as your mind, body and a good night’s sleep), remember the empty spaces loss brings can be filled up. It does not need to destroy you, but instead be a part of your life’s journey and your opportunity to fill your life up again.

It starts with the vision (the hardest part), then the plan (the easiest part), and finally, the action (the most important part).

I hope this message brings you hope, focus and the spirit to forge ahead through your toughest times.

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The Symbolism of Trees

 

Since ancient days, trees represent life, growth, wisdom, prosperity and protection. As we see the trees reach upward, we are reminded of our own journey of gaining wisdom and reaching upward, growing personally and spiritually. 

Surrounded by the stillness of the forest, we become aware of the grandness and interconnectivity of all of life, including our own.

 

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Healing the pain, without the apology.

This card is the Eight of Cups from the Tarot Deck Golden Art Nouveau by Giulia F. Massaglia

I chose this card in the tarot, as it represents emotional dissatisfaction and being able to walk away toward a journey of self discovery.  

                                                                

If we were in an accident, and were badly hurt, no one would ever say or expect us to “just deal with it” and move on. They would appear indifferent and heartless to even suggest it. Yet somehow, when we get our hearts broken, people will give that advice, especially if they are the ones who hurt us.

The “let’s move on” without discussing it, or us not getting the accountability we feel we deserve from those who hurt us, is about them, not us. Many times, when other people hurt us it is because they have not dealt with their own pain and loss. They have been told to “move on,” and haven’t grieved what has happened to them, and what has not happened for them. 

We all get triggered by our unresolved pain, instead of asking for help (and appearing weak) many of us lash out and hurt someone else instead. Addressing an open vulnerable conversation with them will be futile, as it is just too risky. They don’t want to hear what they have done when they were not at their best. So we all walk around a bit wounded, and stuff down our feelings. Then we may get told we are not strong enough if we can’t move on.

Strength is “looking the devil in the eye,” as they say. It is having the courage to face our pain and address it. It’s in those vulnerable times we find the courage to move on, as we have honored ourselves and the people we have hurt.

For some, being confronted with an comfortable situation will lead to defensiveness and denial, and may lead to personal insults. This is a defense mechanism, and has nothing to do with us.

But we don’t need that apology we may never get. We can heal on our own, without begging for understanding or over-explaining, and feeling small and insignificant. We are better than that, and we can hold onto our own spiritual sovereignty. Love from another wants to heal what they have done. Love for ourselves will not accept anything less.

I find that in order to feel the strength, I need to take good care of myself. It helps me to keep balanced. It is  going to bed early when I need to, eating healthy and light foods, moving (even if it’s not working out in the gym), journaling, talking things out with people I can trust, and treating myself as that little girl inside me who needs the pain to heal.

I am sending you love, and kindness - and assurance that your feelings are real and very much matter, even if you don’t get that apology.

 

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Watching the movie of our lives from the other side. 🎦🙏🏻😇

I am writing this blog, as it is two years this weekend that I lost my mom. I often wonder where she is, and if she has found peace on the other side. I believe she has. It’s the most surreal thing in the world to lose someone so close to you, such as a parent. I was with my mother in her last moments, when she took her last breath and passed away. The nurses in hospice had prepared me - they know when someone will transition within 24 hours. Watching my mother in her last moments was beautiful. We knew she was ill and in pain, and now she was in her final stage. It was serene, spiritual, and magical in its own way. I was watching her release her pain from this world and go to the other side. 

There has been much documentation regarding what happens after we pass, from people who have experienced a near death experience. They collectively say that we look back on our lives, and review it as though it’s a movie. We see how our actions and decisions have affected other people. We also observe how our actions may have affected their lives and decisions, which, in turn, may have affected other people’s lives and decisions. It’s an ongoing cycle, always turning and twisting.

What I find interesting is that in contrast of this notion, is that while we’re here on earth, we mostly think about ourselves.

I remember years ago speaking with someone who told me he was not spiritual, and that he was an atheist. He shared with me that he knew if he believed in “something,” he would have made different decisions. We both knew he meant “better decisions.”

Why? Because when you live a spiritual life, you believe there’s something bigger than yourself. The “self” wants immediate gratification, it wants to be right, it wants to be recognized, and many times, it wants to be glorified. The ego needs that to survive. Alternatively, thinking of ourselves as part of the “whole,” makes us more compassionate. And as we try to comprehend what we cannot understand, it helps us become more whole with others, and stronger together, as a result. 

Our actions mean something, and that matters, even if someone challenges us. 

I’ll end this blog with a little story Years ago, sitting in a small cafe in New York City, a woman walked in with this incredible flair and I complimented her on her outfit. She responded with, “You don’t know how much that means to me today. I am feeling terrible about myself, ugly and disconnected. I could hardly get out of the house. Your compliment really made my day and uplifted my spirits.” I didn’t know anything about her, but what I did know was what a compliment about someone’s outfit could do for her self esteem and feeling of worthiness.

Many people don’t divulge if they’re having disagreements with their spouses or are going through a divorce, or have concerns about money. They may have frustration with their kids, or concerns about their health. Or it could be they simply feel tired, old, and unlovable.

So, what will your movie show you about your life?

 

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Does anyone want better sleep? 🙋🏻‍♀️😴😊

Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@kstonematheson

Seriously, what a question! 😂

We all have natural biological clocks and rhythms. Following a 24 hour cycle, these rhythms respond mostly to light and dark. This process affects our health, involving our hormone release (including melatonin), eating habits, digestion, and body temperature. Things that can interrupt this rhythm are jet lag, time differences (including daylight savings time), electronic devices, and dramatic life events. Once our circadian rhythms get off kilter, it can difficult to get back on track without a conscious effort to realign ourselves. As it turns out, there’s more than one schedule to follow, according to our chronotype. 

So, what’s a chronotype? 

According to Dr. Michael Breus, a clinical psychologist and sleep medicine expert, chronotypes are genetic. The theory is it comes from our species’ need for survival, with different individuals needing to watch the fort at night, and others during the day. There are four chronotypes, the Lion (morning person), the Bear (daytime person), the Wolf (a night owl), and the Dolphin (who has difficulty creating a schedule and is more prone to insomnia).

Here are the four types, along with some relevant tips (a link below is provided for you to take the quiz, but can you guess your chronotype first?):

🦁Are you a Lion? 

A Lion is a morning person, typically waking up naturally as early as 4am or 5am. For this type, it is best to eat breakfast within an hour of getting out of bed in order to synchronize the body clock to the day. As Lions are at their peak in the early morning, this is the time they should be doing their most productive tasks that need top focus. With lots of energy early on, they tend to wane after lunch, and should be doing lighter cognitive activities thereafter. Exercising late afternoon (between 4pm and 6pm), eating dinner afterwards, and then binge watching TV at night is great for their chronotype. An early evening shower is best in order to relax and get a good night’s sleep. Typically, Lions are high energy, are very interested in their health, are organized, and have a list for just about everything (or in my case, a spreadsheet). 

🐻Perhaps a Bear? 

The Bear’s schedule is tuned into sunrise and sunset. They typically get up at 7am, and go to bed around 11pm. Lucky them! This makes the 9am-5pm workday perfect for their chronotype, and gives them enough energy throughout the day to get work done, and ease into the evening. Bears do well to start their day at 7am, then follow up with breakfast within the hour, followed by a cool shower. Their peak performance time is 10am - 3pm, ideally getting a nap in at 2pm. Lighter tasks are recommended thereafter until 6pm. Exercise and dinner at 7pm, followed by binge watching TV works best for them in order to unwind. Bears like, and need, 8 hours of sleep, so the proper wind down, including an evening shower after dinner, works best. Bears get the work done, are affable and fun to be around, and make great friends.

🐺Or maybe a Wolf? 

Wolves are night owls. They wake around 7am (or later), and go to bed at midnight (or later). No surprise, their peak performance time is late afternoon into late evening. If at all possible, a nap around 2pm is perfect. Doing research, making plans, and memory recall is best after 6pm. Exercise is best around 7pm. 9pm and later is their best time for socialization. A hot shower or bath is recommended late evening, before bedtime, so they can wind down and get a good night’s sleep. Wolves are intelligent and creative - often artists, musicians, and authors, and most are risk takers who don’t follow traditional norms.

🐬Or somehow a Dolphin? 

Dolphins are the insomniacs and have a difficult time with any sleep schedule. Because they are light sleepers, they have irregular sleep patterns. Being very sensitive to sound and light, they are easily awakened. As they naturally get less sleep, it is recommended they get out of bed around 6am, and then take a morning run and cold shower to get invigorated to start their day around 7am. Eating breakfast at 8am, or shortly thereafter, works for them. Dolphins are most productive starting at 3pm, with exercise at 6pm. A hot shower or bath at 9pm winds them down for a midnight bedtime. Dolphins are intelligent and perfectionists.

All chronotypes, except Dolphins, do best to eat within an hour of waking, followed by a nap at some point in their day. All four archetypes are advised to stop eating two hours before bedtime, taking an hour to unwind lets the body know it’s time to wind down and get ready for sleep. This routine sets our body clocks, and prepares us to greet the day. People who follow their correct chronotype schedule have said they have gotten better sleep, lost weight, and feel in sync with their bodies.

To find out your chronotype, click here to take the quiz. 

For more in-depth information (and to change your life!), read Michael Breus' book: 

“The Power of When: Discover Your Chronotype--and the Best Time to Eat Lunch, Ask for a Raise, Have Sex, Write a Novel, Take Your Meds, and More” by Michael Breus. 

It has helped me a lot, and a few surprises have worked in my favor, happy to say! 

If you would like to see more, please subscribe to my blog by sending an email to HolisticSpiritualLiving@yahoo.com. 

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