Watching the movie of our lives from the other side. 🎦🙏🏻😇

I am writing this blog, as it is two years this weekend that I lost my mom. I often wonder where she is, and if she has found peace on the other side. I believe she has. It’s the most surreal thing in the world to lose someone so close to you, such as a parent. I was with my mother in her last moments, when she took her last breath and passed away. The nurses in hospice had prepared me - they know when someone will transition within 24 hours. Watching my mother in her last moments was beautiful. We knew she was ill and in pain, and now she was in her final stage. It was serene, spiritual, and magical in its own way. I was watching her release her pain from this world and go to the other side. 

There has been much documentation regarding what happens after we pass, from people who have experienced a near death experience. They collectively say that we look back on our lives, and review it as though it’s a movie. We see how our actions and decisions have affected other people. We also observe how our actions may have affected their lives and decisions, which, in turn, may have affected other people’s lives and decisions. It’s an ongoing cycle, always turning and twisting.

What I find interesting is that in contrast of this notion, is that while we’re here on earth, we mostly think about ourselves.

I remember years ago speaking with someone who told me he was not spiritual, and that he was an atheist. He shared with me that he knew if he believed in “something,” he would have made different decisions. We both knew he meant “better decisions.”

Why? Because when you live a spiritual life, you believe there’s something bigger than yourself. The “self” wants immediate gratification, it wants to be right, it wants to be recognized, and many times, it wants to be glorified. The ego needs that to survive. Alternatively, thinking of ourselves as part of the “whole,” makes us more compassionate. And as we try to comprehend what we cannot understand, it helps us become more whole with others, and stronger together, as a result. 

Our actions mean something, and that matters, even if someone challenges us. 

I’ll end this blog with a little story Years ago, sitting in a small cafe in New York City, a woman walked in with this incredible flair and I complimented her on her outfit. She responded with, “You don’t know how much that means to me today. I am feeling terrible about myself, ugly and disconnected. I could hardly get out of the house. Your compliment really made my day and uplifted my spirits.” I didn’t know anything about her, but what I did know was what a compliment about someone’s outfit could do for her self esteem and feeling of worthiness.

Many people don’t divulge if they’re having disagreements with their spouses or are going through a divorce, or have concerns about money. They may have frustration with their kids, or concerns about their health. Or it could be they simply feel tired, old, and unlovable.

So, what will your movie show you about your life?

 

If you would like to see more, please subscribe to my blog by sending an email to HolisticSpiritualLiving@yahoo.com. 

Follow me on Instagram for daily posts and subscribe to my YouTube channel (my links are on the side bar).

Keeping the Holidays Sane, Simple and Real 🎄🕎🙏🏻

With the holidays coming at the end of the year, it’s great time to be reflective and thankful, and share with others what they mean to us. Sometimes with the holiday rush though, outside pressures, and need for everything to be perfect, can result in things getting costly, exhausting and frustrating.

Holiday Gifts: Instead of buying expensive gifts, maybe suggest token gifts and enjoy time together, even if it needs to be after the holidays. Instead of offense, you may just hear a sigh of relief! Some cool things to consider gifting are: 

🧶Something homemade 

💌A letter or poem letting someone know how much they mean to you

💍A family heirloom passed down

📺Subscriptions to websites, apps or streaming services

🎭Events or movie tickets

👟Association memberships

🥘Classes

💅Professional services

🥰You, and your time

Entertaining and Holiday Decorating: Truth is, people want to be around other people in order to feel a connection, not be bestowed with their decorations (at least that can be said for the people we want to be around!). And if there is an impression, it can be fleeting. What they will remember is the time with you. I used to worry endlessly about menus and setting everything up to impress, but now I enjoy the moment and the people I am with, and allow myself to be human. If you enjoy doing it and it’s fun, great. If you are doing it to impress, it may be something you need to re-think. Some of my best memories are being with people in one of our homes with no fanfare, just creating memories. When cooking recipes, things sometimes don’t come out perfectly, and that’s okay. It doesn’t matter. Just have fun with it and don’t let your need to be perfect stop you from trying new things. As Julia Child once said "One of the secrets, and pleasures, of cooking is to learn to correct something if it goes awry; and one of the lessons is to grin and bear it if it cannot be fixed.” Good advice for cooking, holidays, and life.

Schedules: To help keep holiday events and invites organized, I like to keep everything in my calendar, color coordinated, so I can see what I need to prepare for, and how many things I have scheduled. I get an overview of what my days and weeks ahead look like in order to plan new events. I am then able to manage my time without over-scheduling or missing commitments. 

Eating Healthy: When I eat out, I like to check out menus beforehand, so I can get a sense of what will be a good option, both in terms of taste and health. When going to a buffet-style event, I do the “food tour” before piling anything on my plate. I see what is available and then pick my favorites. When going to events at people’s homes, I take a little bit of everything to be respectful and appreciative of the host, and then enjoy what I am eating in moderation. 

The holidays are a great time for us to be present and connect with others. As people remember the way that they feel, (as opposed to the taste of the meals, the decorations, or expensive gifts) it’s great to focus on the experience and time well spent, and savor the moment as a result. The holidays can be a great reason to get together with people you haven’t seen in a while, and reflect and enjoy what can be the most wonderful time of the year. My wish for you is to enjoy, in whatever ways your holidays are spent.

 

If you would like to see more, please subscribe to my blog by sending an email to HolisticSpiritualLiving@yahoo.com. 

Follow me on Instagram for daily posts and subscribe to my YouTube channel (my links are on the side bar).

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. 🕊🌅

Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@cant89

Many of us don’t want to face our own, or our loved ones’, mortality. It can be a very scary and difficult reality to deal with. In the last stages of life, people look back on their lives with great memories, but also with regrets - some painstakingly so. Many times our fears of not knowing what to do, or being punished, or ridiculed, or catering to ego, creates our disconnect with our true self, and we fail to recognize what we need to fully ascend. 

Bronnie Ware, a caregiver in palliative care, shared the wisdom she received from her dying patients in her book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.” I’ve known of this book over the years, and find it interesting that these regrets are universal. This blog will recap and share what we can we take away to live our best lives, before it is too late.

“I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” 

This is probably one of the most difficult, and worthy, lessons to take to heart. Many of us live our lives according to what other people will think of us, and we miss many opportunities for our own growth and joy. Living in our Spiritual Sovereignty (click here to read my full blog on this topic) keeps us present in our everyday existence, and allows us to be true to ourselves and our own unique spiritual journey.

“I wish I hadn't worked so hard.” 

Working hard and succeeding can be very fulfilling, but a balance between our professional and personal lives helps us enjoy what we have acquired. Unfortunately, once a life moment is missed, it cannot be retrieved. As life events come and go (and go by more quickly as we get on in our years), knowing when to tap the breaks on our office time, and be fully present in our personal lives, makes a huge difference in ourselves and our loved ones.  

“I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.” 

Often we are trained not to express our feelings because it can be uncomfortable to those around us. The feelings within us are there for a reason. They give us guidance when they are listened to so we can respond accordingly. If you would like to read my blog on The Five Natural Emotions Not to Suppress, and how they serve us, click here.

“I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.” 

Connecting with people and staying connected, brings joy and comfort. Having relationships with people who know you and your history makes life more meaningful. “One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.” - Lucius Annaeus Seneca. So true ❤️

“I wish I had let myself be happier.” 

Focusing on the negative, and beating ourselves up for our mistakes, is self sabotage. Life brings us challenges so we can grow. Our journey can be fleeting and uncertain, and it can also be wonderful. Allowing ourselves to be in the present, and aware of what is going on around us, (and the opportunities all around us for growth as well as joy) gives our lives meaning. 

Can you relate to the above? What can you change now before it is too late? 

 

If you would like to see more, please subscribe to my blog by sending an email to HolisticSpiritualLiving@yahoo.com. 

Follow me on Instagram for daily posts and subscribe to my YouTube channel (my links are on the side bar).

 

The Freedom of Living With Less. 🕊💫

 📸 image by https://unsplash.com/@harpersunday

Minimalism is not just a design concept of living in a sparse, mostly white, sterile looking room. Living a Minimalistic Lifestyle is a concept of being realistic about what we need, what is going to add value to our life, and what we truly value. Having lots and lots of stuff is overwhelming, distracting and expensive. When I worked as an organizer, I met clients who had many items (often very expensive ones) that they had lost interest in, or had no use for, and they felt overwhelmed trying to keep track of it all. Looking at closets full of stuff and knowing the amount of money we have wasted by not using these things, brings regret and shame - and it suffocates our spirit.

But we can’t just blame ourselves. In the consumerist society in which we live, we are urged and constantly bombarded to buy things - things that we may or may not need, may or may not have use for, probably don’t have room for, but look interesting enough to click, “add to cart” and order. On accounts where we are members, we don’t even have to punch in our credit card, as they already have it. Based on our shopping and browsing history, suggestions of things will pop up in our feed (as well as other websites that are tracking our history). And with all that convenience comes the added feature of everything being delivered to our doorstep in 24 hours. Multiple studies show that when people receive things that they bought, but do not like or need, very few return the items because of the hassle. 

By buying less, owning less and living with less, we can give our full attention and appreciation to what we do have and love, and we can give special care to those special items. With this, comes the ability to focus, and be more grateful. Things that are stuffed in corners, closets, or rooms locked up for no one to see, are mind numbing. When we have lots and lots of stuff, it’s hard to manage, hard to find things and hard to give special interest to anything.

Some people love having things in their space that bring back memories of their life experiences, but I suggest trying to eliminate at least 5 things that either no longer bring you joy, subject you to negative feelings, remind you of things you have wasted money on, or items that simply do not serve you. Once you do that, try 5 more. This can turn into a habit of being mindful of your space and lifestyle, so much so that while passing a bookshelf, you may see a book that you know you will never read again, and without hesitation, you grab it off the shelf and donate it. 

There is also the financial aspect. Things cost money to buy, repair and maintain. We waste money when we purchase things that we already own, but can’t keep track of.

Living a Minimalistic Lifestyle is living with intention. In spiritual terms, intention is the energy of us telling the universe what we want. The universe will help us, if we give it the direction. What do we intentionally want and need? What matters? Not only will your life feel more free with more intentional living, but having less will free up your mind to focus on things that truly matter to you. 

Ask yourself this big question: “How much is enough?” We have nothing to prove, nothing to show, and we need nothing needed to give us a sense of worth, because we are already enough without our stuff. 

 

If you would like to see more, please subscribe to my blog by sending an email to HolisticSpiritualLiving@yahoo.com. 

Follow me on Instagram for daily posts and subscribe to my YouTube channel (my links are on the side bar).

I had a dream…to mind my own business! 😳🙈

I would like to share a dream with you I had in the hopes that it inspires you, and wakes you up to your own “dreams.” In this dream, I was was sitting at the edge of a lake watching the most amazing sunset I had ever experienced. It was magical with colors I hadn’t seen before, both electric and awe-inspiring. I was staring at this enchanting sky, completely taken away by the sheer beauty of it all, allowing the experience to take me outside of myself to another place. All the pieces of life felt like they were in place.

And then suddenly, I heard whispering off to my left. I had to make the decision to continue watching this beautiful sky or look to see what was happening. From habit, obsessive behavior, or just “needing to know,” I turned my head away from this gift to see what was going on. 

I could see there were people in the darkness, but I couldn’t make them out. They were silhouettes speaking in muffled voices. It was not menacing or threatening, but because I wasn’t sure what they were doing, I took all my focus away from the sunset to see what was happening. Again, wondering if they were planning something that I “needed to know about.” It turned out to be nothing. 

When I turned to look back to the sky ready to take in the sheer magnificence of it all, the sunset was gone. I lost the moment. How many moments do we lose, “needing to know” what other people are doing? Saying? Living? Choosing? All of which has nothing to do with us? 

In my dream, I lost the magnificent sunset, but it symbolized so much more. When I awoke, I took this dream as a huge lesson to stay focused on the beauty, the splendor, and the promise of what can be.

I often take pictures of sunrises and sunsets to always remind myself not to lose cherished moments. It’s not easy, and I for one, am always working on this.

May your days be filled with many ongoing moments that will take your breath away, and may your life be everything you want it to be. With clarity, focus, stillness, and courage to implement what we want (not to mention minding our own business!) we can make it our reality. 🙏🏻

 

If you would like to see more, please subscribe to my blog by sending an email to HolisticSpiritualLiving@yahoo.com. 

Follow me on Instagram for daily posts and subscribe to my YouTube channel (my links are on the side bar).